Little six year-old Robert sits on the floor by the low table in my office, carefully choosing crayons and chatting with me as he begins my requested task: “Please draw me a picture of a house.” Robert frowns and I become quite confused as he quickly completes the picture and hands it to me. I hold it up and remark, “Robert, tell me about this picture.” He whispers, “I drew a boat. I don’t want to draw a house.” He looks at me squarely in the eye and continues, “My Dad cries all the time and says my Mom is trying to make him leave our house because of the divorce. He says everyone will have to leave the house. He says there is no more money for a house. I am not going to draw a house.”
Yikes! Even after thirty-three years as a mental health professional it still never fails to amaze me when I experience the sadness and anxiety of children of divorce. When I shared this innocent child’s picture with his parents, they were shocked. They were shocked at the picture of the boat and how Robert placed it on the page in very heavily lined, dark, stormy waters. They became quickly motivated to find ways to stop power-struggling over their failing finances. They simultaneously got back to their commonly held value: the well-being of their son.
Honestly, I think things have gotten even harder for children of divorce after the Great Recession. Kids used to be scared about their parents, their stuff, their rooms in the face of divorce. Now I see kids, along with their divorcing parents, also fretting more and more about money and the financial challenges of two-household families. I, myself, worry about these transitioning families and believe now, more than ever, that Collaborative Divorce is the best option to care for this population.
Collaborative Divorce, with its full-team model of two lawyers, two coaches, child specialist and financial specialist can address all the dimensions of divorce and help today’s financially weakened families transition peacefully, putting the needs of their kids at the forefront. It has historically never been the cheapest divorce, but has always provided an incredible value for the family in flux.
So, in today’s world, how can fiscally struggling, divorcing parents afford to pay all the people on a Collaborative Divorce team? By attaining a streamlined Collaborative Divorce; that’s how. The economically stressed divorcing couple can now use the peaceful power of the full-team to help their kids while they help themselves to reorganize and regain control over their finances.
Collaborative Divorce Institute is offering the first-ever training in the Streamlined Protocols for Collaborative Divorce, January 10-12. These new protocols train the team of professionals to directly and efficiently guide, coach and educate the clients. The clients are thoroughly prepared within their team to skillfully communicate with each other and resolve their divorce as they set their sights for a brighter future. Children who witness their parents approach divorce in this capable, confident, and hopeful way are less anxious, less sad and more resilient. Don’t you think every child of divorce needs this type of experience? I sure do.
Calling all family lawyers, mental health professionals, and financial specialists! Take our contemporary, cutting-edge Streamlined Protocols for Collaborative Divorce in January. Reserve your place because it is filling up fast. Contact my co-director, Vicki Carpel Miller, at email@example.com for details on how to register or visit our Facebook page: Streamlined Protocols Training: Collaborative Divorce.