I truly had an interesting personal experience in cultural diversity last week as I cruised down the Danube with some German friends. My husband, a real estate broker, sold these Bavarian folk a home here in the USA over twenty years ago. At that time they spoke barely a word of English, yet we were …
Can you imagine that helping professionals and other caring witnesses are still suffering trauma responses a decade after the 9/11 tragedy? That certainly speaks to how insidious the effects of vicarious trauma can be! It also demonstrates a saddening lack of compassion and absence of resources for our heroes.
If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please remember that suicidal thinking is the result of being in an extreme shame attack. The suffering person is grappling with life-issues or events that provide a context of seeing oneself as unlovable and worthless.
When I come into the door after a long day at the office, I am emotionally inverted. I feel as though my feelings have been sucked into a vacuum and I can hardly connect with my own family who needs my attention as well. Sometimes I feel numb. Sometimes I think that if one more person asks one more thing of me I will scream.
Some people make attachments with others that go from one extreme to the other: “I don’t want you; please don’t leave me!” They overshoot that midpoint of secure attachment and don’t get much joy or comfort from their connections with others.
Sometimes our love-relationships are like the long, hot desert summer. Love can be intense and searing with hot passion. It can include dry spells that leave us, as partners, quenching for replenishment.
Some people substitute pity and the pedestal for their own legitimate experience of anger at someone’s bad behavior.
Remember that cheating is a symptom of some unaddressed issue in your relationship that deserves immediate attention. Carrying on about the affair distracts you from identifying this crucial relationship concern. Whether you stay in the relationship or not, you need this information in order to grow as you move forward.
Attending and graduating from the “School of Hard Knocks” plays a key role in how a person learns to be resilient. Studies show that kids who grew up in adverse living conditions seem to demonstrate a richer depth of resilience in adulthood.
Women or men who stay entangled with aggressor partners do so because they have become brainwashed by the aggressor over time. The method of brainwashing in a verbally abusive domestic relationship is no different than the method of brainwashing used with POW’s.