I believe that the Bystander Effect needs to be considered as seriously as leaving the scene of an accident or leaving the scene of a crime.
For many children, Mother’s Day is a myth. It is a fantasy; an idea or illusion a child wistfully carries in their mind, but never truly experienced. The population of these children who are older, are the ones who linger by the Hallmark cards for long periods of time: reading and replacing; reading and replacing. They finally settle for some benign message that ultimately says “Have a Nice Day”, but nothing more.
Children of divorce probably watch their parents lead by example more closely than the general population of children. Why? Because they simply do not know what to do, what to say, or how to feel. They may have heard the word “divorce”, but may have very limited internal resources with which they can make sense of the concept.
Have you ever noticed that some people are in it strictly for the friction? It seems as if they thrive on arguing and they like to turn most interactions into some kind of heated debate. They like to fight so that they can see themselves as right and justified in their bad behavior. Coined as “high-conflict” personalities, you will find these types everywhere you go.
Can you imagine that helping professionals and other caring witnesses are still suffering trauma responses a decade after the 9/11 tragedy? That certainly speaks to how insidious the effects of vicarious trauma can be! It also demonstrates a saddening lack of compassion and absence of resources for our heroes.
We think Second-Hand Shock Syndrome needs to be identified and treated as its own illness. Lots of folks are treated for illnesses such as arthritis, cancer, heart, disease, obesity, anxiety and depression, who we believe began their downhill descent with some form of Second- Hand Shock Syndrome.
Some people substitute pity and the pedestal for their own legitimate experience of anger at someone’s bad behavior.